Holidays in my family are nothing but pure comedies. You all remember the MLK day fiasco? Well, Mother’s Day is no different same hysterics, different relative.
My mother is at it again, and honestly you’d think I’d know by now not to bother, but she is the love of my life, so I oblige.
Every holiday without fail, I plan months in advance to observe her and ask her if there’s anything she would like. I always brace myself for the impact her response is sure to bring. Then, I lace up my best dress shoes, because I know we’re about to dance. You see, every holiday we do this sort of dance. I can’t tell you if it’s the salsa or the tango, but it can take place for hoursss , daysss, months even!! And as we do our dance right around the bush, we land right into the big day still unequipped. On these momentous days, I can’t help but wonder where I’ve gone wrong as a daughter.
You think I’m kidding? Here’s how our most recent phone conversation went:
Me: Hey mom, is there anything you’ve wanted lately?
Mom: Oh dear, Mother’s Day is coming up huh?
Me: Why yes, yes it is.
Me: *listening intently*
QUICK PAUSE: Okay, so by now, I can see that it’s time to aid in her thinking process. So I jump in with a suggestion as any good child would. AND ACTION 🎬
Me: Would you like a robotic vacuum?
Mom: *laughs* No, I don’t want a robot
Me: Okay, so no to the vacuum
Mom: I’ve wanted to start back walking. Since I’ve been back to work in the office, I haven’t been able to do so. A new pair of walking shoes would be nice, but I want to try them on, so don’t get me that. That’s not helpful at all is it?
Me: Definitely not helpful. How about a Peloton! Would you like a Peloton?
Mom: What’s that? Is it better than a treadmill? I think I know what you’re talking about. Aren’t those expensive?
Me: Mom you’re worried about the wrong things. Let’s try to focus here. Check your phone, I sent you a picture of it.
Mom: Oh yes, I know what you’re talking about. It’s kinda bulky huh? Pretty intimidating. It looks uncomfortable. I don’t want that.
Me: Okay, how about a workout mirror?
Mom: A what? How do you find these things?
Me: Check your phone I sent you a picture.
Mom: *laughs* So you watch it, then it shows you what to do? They come up with anything nowadays. No, I don’t want that.
(but also mentally kinda relieved because they actually are not cheap, but for mom, money is no object! #paymentplan)
QUICK PAUSE: At this point just slap a red hat on me and call me Sam-I-Am, because what in the green eggs and ham is going on here! AND ACTION 🎬
Mom: (begins to tell me another unhelpful story) I want a house, but that’s not something I want you all to get for me. I want you all to buy a house for for yourselves. I want all my girls to establish themselves.
(mom continues her inspirational speech not pertaining to the question at hand.)
Also Mom: Uhmmm…. Hmmm…. x10
Me: Soooo, I’ll tell you what, I can see you’re at that stage where I’ll just have to give you money as a gift now, and you do what you please with it.
Mom: No no no… okay, you can send me flowers.
Me: Alright so you want flowe…
Mom: Well, I like flowers but don’t get me the big ones because they’re going to die. I don’t like when they start to fall apart, because then I have to clean it up.
Me: Mother you don’t really want flowers. We can’t keep doing this every holiday. I’ve given you months to prepare.
Mom: I know you’re right. You know what I’m going to start making a list throughout the year and share it with you guys. That way you’ll know what to get me.
Me: You said that last year too.
Mom: I mean it this time.
Mom: I didn’t help at all, did I?
Me: No mother, not even in the slightest. 😂
As you can see, my mother, the precious love of my life, can tell you everything SHE DOESN’T WANT as if that were the question. She cannot tell you what she actually does want, which makes my life more complicated, as you can guess . However, she’s the only person I’d accept this behavior from. Everyone else is getting money inside of a card!
I know that I can gift her something random, but I can’t help but want to gift her something exceptional. She deserves exceptional! I want to give her something that would light her face up more than it already shines to me on an average day. The pressure of wanting to show her just how much she means to me is what keeps me on this wild goose chase from year to year. I’m blessed to be able to banter with her about what to get her as a gift. I love you Mom. Even in your uncertainty you’re still perfection in my eyes.
Thank you for being my greatest supporter and biggest encourager. When I switched my blogs up, she honestly told me, “Janeen I like the old style better, those moving pictures (GIFs) are distracting. I clicked on it and it took me somewhere else.” I had to explain to her that you aren’t suppose to click on them just glance at them as you read the blog 😂 . They are there for dramatic effect, and now she loves them. (we still have to call them memes though, saying GIFs will confuse her. Baby steps guys, baby steps.) You continue to grow with me on this journey and provide me with laughter every step of the way. You are my life’s greatest gift. It’s no wonder my first blog post was about you!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mother’s out there!!! It’s your day. Feel free to be as difficult as you want to your children, if you so please. We truly appreciate all that you do.
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