Fall is my favorite time of year. I have a birthday in the fall, the weather changes, the holidays come around, the leaves turn beautiful browns and orange colors. Hot chocolate and fuzzy soft pajamas come out. The air is just different.
In that same breath, this season is also one of the hardest of the year for me. The reason being that I have a birthday, the weather changes, holidays come around, the leaves turn beautiful browns and orange colors. As the changes come, so does the shift in my mood.
I can’t pinpoint when it began, but it became harder to get out of bed in the morning. I used to chop it up to the cold weather. However, as time went on, I realized that it was deeper than the external temperature. It was how I felt clouded and blocked on the inside-both mentally and physically, the way my eyes held back water almost immediately upon waking up, and how much encouragement I needed to start my day. In full fall fashion, Loneliness creeps in and sets up shop as if it’s trying to escape from the dropping temperature that the Fall season brings.
It seems that just as I was learning how to thrive in the summer, fall arrived. A season I have yet to conquer in my new state of life. I am nervous about it. What if who I am today can’t overcome those feelings. What if depression wins this year? What will I do then? I don’t know. But fall is here now, and there’s no turning back. Let’s tackle it morning by morning, one foot to the ground at a time, and prevail.
Happy Fall, Sending you the same love, light, and grace that I’m giving myself daily.